I grew up in a Christian home, within a churchgoing family.  Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10 to 31: The Wife of Noble Character, was a popular choice at weddings as it served as a reminder for the bride where the essence of her femininity lay.  There was a time in my life where I could recite the passage by heart, so often had I heard it.  It is a beautiful piece that serves as the epilogue for wise King Solomon’s book of Proverbs.

While at church yesterday, I observed the women in the congregation and the reading came to mind.  These women have taken those words to heart.  They are the wives of noble character.  They are real and honest.  They are resilient, resourceful, faithful and wise. 

As loving mothers and wives, trustworthy friends, successful owners and partners in businesses, little escapes their notice.  There is strength in their arms for their tasks, generosity in their outstretched palms for those in need, words of encouragement upon their lips for the suffering. They know that feeding the soul is as important as feeding the body. There is nothing spoiled about them.  Whatever they have, they have earned.

There is a strong fiber within their graciousness.  The women of my mother’s generation have endured a lot.  They speak with conviction, and all too often they are right.  Their moral code does not waiver.  They understand that it is our hearts that weigh us down, yet they go forward, loving through it all.   

Their lamp does not go out at night.  Praying over their loved ones, they invoke blessings over their children.  Their households are safe havens, their kitchens warm.  They are teachers and nurturers and lovers.  And I wish to be like them.  

Ever notice how when a few girls are out for lunch or dinner, no female walking by passes their inspection. In the split of a second that poor woman has been evaluated, judged, found lacking or viewed as a contender.  I was talking to a friend today about this and she assured me that her husband and his buddies are no different.  They just don’t say anything about it.  Not unless it’s something negative.  I don’t know though.  My husband isn’t negative or judgmental about other men.  

I often wonder why women are so critical of each other.  Could it be just a learned behavior?  Something we’ve seen our mothers and aunts do?  I have a certain friend who scoops out double-edged compliments by the shovel.  It’s an art form.  Almost makes the one receiving it happy to be selected, until later when she realizes that there was a double meaning to the attention paid her.  I’m guilty of it too.  Every once in a while, I catch myself being unduly critical and am disgusted for sinking so low.  It really isn’t my business. 

At this moment I’m sitting in a cafe not far from home and watching and listening as a group of girls are dissecting another sitting at a different table with her boyfriend.  I’m supposed to be working, yet I can’t help listening in.  I am fascinated by this characteristic so many females seem to acquire.  It is clear that they don’t know the girl in question, or her boyfriend.  What isn’t clear is the reason they feel so threatened. There is nothing about the girl with the boyfriend to make her stand out. Other than the fact that she has a boyfriend.

I will admit, there’s a certain bonding that takes place between us through our mutual consent to trash.  We feel part of a team, a bit more attached now that we’re all guilty by association.  It should make us question our friendships though. And how real and true they are.

my three most favorite people - vienna, austria

medieval fortress - romania

I have been dreaming of a vacation the last several days.  The kind where for three weeks the only work required of me is making peace between my kids.  And it needs to be somewhere across either the Atlantic or the Pacific, or south of Costa Rica.  However, I do not think that will happen this summer.  I already have all the glorious days of heat and sunshine scheduled out for work.  Scattered here and there will be a few camping trips, a weekend at the beach, a week in San Diego and a long weekend north to Seattle, or possibly Canada.  It will be lovely and relaxing, to be sure, but not the vacation that I crave.

prague

I have been writing a lot lately on vacation destinations: recommending places for families with children, planning weeklong itineraries that balance fun with relaxation and learning, and offering suggestions on coping with differences in languages and cultures, while trying to feed cranky, famished kids.  Oh, how I want my family to be following at least one of those itineraries.  A complete immersion in another culture, the texture of life all around, waiting to be explored, creating unforgettable experiences with our children.  If there’s a better way to spend a summer, I really have no interest in finding out.   

However, I’ve realized that I need to do that here at home.  I’ve lived in this state for twenty years and I still haven’t gone down to Ashland.  I’ve determined that this summer we will investigate all our city and state have to offer.  We will visit museums, parks, sights, churches, markets, beaches, mountains, vineyards.  And we will pretend we are tourists, armed with cameras and information to educate ourselves, we’ll take a brake to spread a blanket underneath a willow on some riverbank and have a picnic and a nap before going on.  The more I think about it, the better it sounds. 

We will pick a day or two at a time and go.  After all, traveling in the company of my loved ones is what it’s all about.