Archive for August, 2012

yikes!

Author: angiem, 08 22nd, 2012

me... at almost 40!

me... at almost 40!

Ok, so this post’s all about me. Yes. Sorry about that. But, in less than a month I’m turning 40, and from all accounts I should be just a tad more obsessed with aging than I am. Of course, I already spend a great portion of time staring at myself in any mirror I come across. Or any window. At my face. At my skin. At my breasts and my butt. And all the while I think: do I need Botox, fillers, a nip here, a tuck there? I mean, let’s face it. Skin at 40 grows all sorts of little hairs where little hairs have no business of being, or little skin folds where little skin folds have no business of being. And yes, my roots are grayer than they’ve ever been. And yes also, my breasts are nowhere near perky. Nor is my behind.

But I am 40, not 20. And I’ve been pregnant several times, and gave birth twice.

Still.

Should I be more worried than I am?

I had lunch with a friend of mine who also turned 40, and she told me that she’s been getting Botox for the last 6 years. And also another friend who turned 40 said that her dermatologist told her that there’s very little Botox can do to the lines on her forehead as they already are too deep. Too deep? At 40?

Hm. Ok.

I AM vain. And deep down I know that I will do whatever it takes to NOT become invisible. Whatever it takes. But I don’t like the idea of wasting my forties obsessing about every little wrinkle. I’m not that vain. Of course it’s possible I’ll change my mind, but for now, I want to worry about things that make sense: that I won’t die before my children reach adulthood and that I don’t have to work for a living until I’m eighty.

But if you see me dressing too young for my age, or having an impossibly round tush, or tiny waist, or frozen forehead, or lips that stretch to both of my ears, kindly take me aside and tell me how ridiculous I look. But do it gently. Because to resort to such extremes my ego must be very fragile. And it will only respond to gentleness.

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