Archive for October, 2013

boo hoo

Author: angiem, 10 21st, 2013

I’ve been in a funk the last few days. I don’t exactly know why. The weather is gorgeous. We’ve had the most beautiful October. Ever. And we are all healthy. Maybe it’s because I joined the PTA. I stayed away as long as I could, until I couldn’t anymore. PTA moms are an altogether different species, and I just couldn’t see how to make myself fit in. I still can’t.

This is what I’ve observed so far: We, PTA moms, seem to have no other interests but to make copies, staple classroom information packets together, decorate for the auction, fundraise, and meet for lunch on Wednesdays. Where, I will add, bottle upon bottle of cheap white wine will be consumed and very little food will actually be eaten. And then when the weekend comes, we, PTA moms, can think of no better way to spend the time than to congregate on one field or another and cheer our kids on. We are so certain, that at least one of them, if not more, will be a professional soccer or football player. I mean, come on! Have you seen those kicks?

The entire social network of PTA moms seems to be made up of other moms with whom we discuss everything from how awesome our kids are - they are PERFECT and as such deserve only praise! - to whether milk is good or bad - it’s BAD, by the way. Very, very BAD! - to how often we have sex with our partners, - apparently we are all in our sexual prime because we have sex AT LEAST five times a week! When our husbands are home, that is. Because a lot of our husbands travel for business. - to how our single friends, or childless friends don’t understand us anymore -we feel betrayed. So it makes sense that with our husbands traveling and our other friends betraying us, we turn to other PTA moms for friendship.

Since we are so busy being PTA moms, we really have no time to read books. Unless it’s Shades of Grey, of course. Which we discuss quite a bit, giggling over some of the parts, and justifying how this book is a story about redeeming love - really! - and all of us can’t wait for the movie -NOT!!! If any mom suggests that we read something different next time, we immediately silence her with a look. I mean, doesn’t she already know that life is hard enough, and we are so busy, and our families and society as a whole, expect so much from us? If we read, we read for pleasure. We are such romantics! We are suckers for love stories! And reality TV.

If this is a harsh portrayal of my fellow PTA moms, I apologize. If I seem to arrive late for our meetings, and leave early, I apologize. If I yawn quite a bit when you all go on and on about one thing or another that is beyond boring to me, I apologize. Perhaps I’ll get around to your way of thinking one of these days. Until then, I’ll go and read Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Lowland. That is sure to get me out of this funk.

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