make time

Author: angiem, 09 21st, 2009

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. (Henry David Thoreau)

Monday morning dawned cold and clear, a streak of pink across the sky.  I lay in bed a few extra minutes, loving the warmth of the sheets, hubby’s arm around me, and my youngest darling who had snuck in our bed sometime during the dark night.  It had been a restless night, characterized by much tossing and turning and checking of the time. As we were preparing the kids for bed we had received horrible news.  A close family friend had died after almost a year of fighting for his life.  He had been young, younger than me, and had left behind a wife, siblings, and aging parents.

And he had worked so hard, a most diligent student of life. First at his studies, then at his job, then at his marriage, and finally at what was slowly killing him. We were expecting this call to come sometime in the future. He had been doing so well lately, and the spark of loving life hadn’t left his eye. The news left us speechless, our thoughts meandering over the years of our lives.

How many of those we had lived carelessly and ungrateful for the miracle life is? We had hurt the ones who love us in our indifference and selfishness. We had worried about ridiculous things. We had overlooked nurturing relationships in favor of making money. And shouldn’t it be the other way? Why is it that the suicide rate had increased during the present economic situation? For that reason alone: a genuine lack of spiritual and human connection. When what one places one’s hopes in disappears, what is there to turn to?

As I am preparing to say my last goodbyes to our friend, I am making a promise to myself. I will tend to my relationships; I will be more thankful; I will forgive more quickly and apologize to the people I have hurt; I will love unconditionally; I will kiss and hug my loved ones even more; I will measure my words; I will act with compassion; I will stop worrying about transient things and instead focus on the eternal; I will live with a sense of gratitude and not one of entitlement; I will seize every opportunity to see the beauty around me and revel in God’s gift of life. And finally, I will live.  I will live passionately.

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12 Responses to “make time”

  1. Jena Says:

    Condolences. Dying is a sad affair. When my sister died after suffering for a long time she was ready to go and see the other side, but in our selfish need to keep her with us, we weren’t ready to let her leave. My sister was a woman of faith and that is the one thing that warms my heart. I will one day see her again.

  2. Janna Qualman Says:

    Your words are beautiful, and so true. I’m very sorry for your family’s loss.

    And thanks for visiting Something She Wrote. I appreciated your comment about coffee! ;)

  3. angiem Says:

    Thank you Jena and Janna.

  4. Mia Piscuc Says:

    Angie,
    You are a great writer!
    We need to live life and to have our thought always on the eternal!
    God Bless you!

  5. Brittany Says:

    Hey dear- I am so sorrry for your loss. Praying Gods comfort for your family during this time.

  6. Michelle Miller Says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. May he rest in peace.

  7. angiem Says:

    Mia,
    Thanks. So true… God bless you as well.

    Brittany,
    Thank you for your prayers.

    Michelle,
    Thank you for your kinds words.

  8. audrey Says:

    beautiful.

    your words and feelings are quite beautiful, and wonderful ways to live on mindfully with love and a sense of cherishness for life, loved ones and yourself. this is a sweet gift your friend who has passed on has shared with you. and thank you so much for i am reminded and inspired by the preciosness of life…

    blessings for your friend who has passed on. may he rest in peace.

    sending hugs to you…

  9. angiem Says:

    Thank you Audrey. Your lovely comment is greatly appreciated.

  10. Daniela Says:

    “When what one places one’s hopes in disappears, what is there to turn to?”

    It is precisely the transient quality of life that spurred my quest for the knowledge of truth. It seemed to me as if the answer would answer the seemingly endless subsequent questions I had in and about life. It was more than curiousity. My life was at stake. I couldn’t live without the man I loved. My teenage mind was uneasy with the source of happiness which took over, becoming my life, when I fell in love for the first time.

    My life (or love) was at stake for the uncertainty of life. It was a question I wasn’t going to wait to ask; I couldn’t . Its mere presence beckoned to be answered and caused unrest, ironically, the stronger my love grew.

    “When what one places one’s hopes in disappears, what is there to turn to?”

    In my quest for truth I, coincidentally, discovered love. A facet of truth, virtue so pure… unparalleled to the love I shared with my beloved. Greater even than my finest notion of love, it was, and is, unfathomable. My life was replaced by life. I live because I am loved.

    1 John 4:10
    This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

    My condolences

  11. Ani Says:

    You are truly a great writer. The last paragraph really brought me to tears…

    This week we participated in a 38 year old man’s funeral that left behind a wife and two young boys…

    Sorry about your loss…

  12. Timeless Chic Says:

    Fie-i tarana usoara !

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