what are you scared of?

Author: angiem, 10 27th, 2009

they say that pretty yellow building is the birthplace of Vlad Tepes (fictionalized as Dracula)

they say that pretty yellow building is the birthplace of Vlad Tepes (fictionalized as Dracula)

When I was a child I was afraid of every shadow.  Maybe it was cultural, maybe it was generational, but the adults related to me thought it important to threaten me with either kidnappings by gypsies, monsters (babau), or goats (apparently they liked to eat little children and came out at night), anytime I wanted to do something they didn’t feel like. Certainly, one of those three was out to get me, waiting until I was all alone and then snatching me quickly and throwing me in a sack they carried for just such an occasion.

I was a timid child and maybe not so bright, because I must have been twelve when I finally figured out that it was all a big, fat lie.  Still, the damage was done and I continued sleeping with a night light on for many more years.  To this day, to be alone in complete darkness raises my hairs on end, and every little creak is a monster’s footstep.

When the movie Psycho came out in the nineties I went to watch it with my husband, thinking that I was an adult and to be scared of something make believe was indeed silly.  Maybe I actually thought that or maybe he insinuated something to that effect, because there I was popcorn and pop in my lap, waiting for the movie to begin.  And was I brave?  Let’s just say that for weeks after I only took a shower if my husband was home, preferably standing there and talking to me.  Even now, if I am on a trip somewhere alone, that shower image pops in my head and I choose to bathe instead.

The funniest thing about this is that I am around people that die all the time.  I am right there when they pass from this life to the next, and I often am the person who takes the pulse and listens for that last heartbeat.  And did I mention that the house I live in has been used as a hospice at some point?  Yet, none of these things frighten me.  I go through the house at night and feel no fear.  There’s nothing lurking in the shadows.

But ask me to watch a scary movie and I will have a month of sleepless nights.

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17 Responses to “what are you scared of?”

  1. nelly Says:

    YAH…I REMEMBER ABOUT “BAU-BAU” AND “BABA CLOANTZA”…I DON’T REALY THINK I WAS SCARED OF THEM WHEN I WAS LITTLE (I KNEW WAS NOT REAL), IN STEAD I WAS SCARED OF BAD SPIRITS (WHEN MY OLDER BROTHERS WILL TELL SPOOKY STORIES -THAT I WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO LISTEN TO)…ABOUT WATCHING SCARRY MOVIES,I DON’T BLAME YOU…WITH TODAY’S TECHNOLOGY THEY MAKE THOSE EFFECTS THAT MAKES YOU BELIVE YOU ALLREADY SAW SCARAOTSCKY…I DON’T WATCH THEM NEDER!

  2. Ligia Says:

    yeah Angie… I am the same.. what would that be??? like being able to be calm in the face of actual& real death but scared of a movie like those???? is n´t that weird????? our fears are our worse enemies?????

  3. Carmenica Says:

    Horror movies are worst than real life! I don’t find it thrilling to be scared out of my mind…

  4. Carmenica Says:

    *worse

  5. Carrie Says:

    It’s amazing what our imaginations can do to us. I can’t watch scary movies because even though intellectually I know it’s a movie, my mind perceives it as real.

  6. Ruth Says:

    I don’t like horror movies…they leave me feeling sick and horrified. It takes over my mind and reasoning! And gets me wondering what is in those peoples mind who come up with those stories? Imagination? Well, it takes over the mind and gets your emotions taking over.

  7. Susan R. Mills Says:

    I don’t do scary movies either. I used to go get in bed with my little brother, yes, I said my ‘little’ brother. I’m a fraidy cat for sure. When my husband is out of town, I even go so far as pushing the couch up against the front door, you know, just in case the lock doesn’t work.

  8. Karen@SurvivingMotherhood Says:

    When I was a little girl I saw just a piece of Psycho. I was going upstairs and looked at the TV in the other room - just as the old dead woman was being turned around in the chair. For years after that, I was convinced she was under my bed.
    Still can’t sleep with my arm hanging over the edge of the bed!

  9. Susu Paris Chic Says:

    Standing there next to a dying person really is courageous. My respects for that. It is also a very important role.

    I’m scared of heights, and flying. I hate to be this way, but then again it’s my personality.

    Referring to something completely different now… Your comment on my blog about the mid section and losing pounds from it… I have the same “burden” that if ever I get a bit of extra, it’s right on that area. What has worked for me is eating more proteins - turkey, chicken, tuna, ham - and less grains. If I feel “bloated” I’ll make a salad with proteins and veggies. I’ll drink water, but not too much either. Pilates is very good, so keep that up!

    Have a blessed day Angie!

  10. TERI REES WANG Says:

    I have no fear.
    I travel the halls in the dark of the night.
    I never bother to turn on a light.
    I reach out expecting to feel,
    a slip, a trip, a trick or a fright.

    Be well.

  11. Stephanie Faris Says:

    Wow. Now if I lived in your house I’d probably let my imagination get away from me…but it’s all in our heads most of the time. We convince ourselves of these things based on what we see on TV and hear from others.

  12. angiem Says:

    Stephanie, it is so true! Our imagination gets the best of us. I suppose that’s where the challenge lies, but being in control of our thoughts and minds, really isn’t as easy as some make it appear.

    Teri, I love that! Thanks.

    Susu, isn’t it interesting? I love flying! When I was young I used to daydream about being a pilot.
    And thanks for that dieting advice. I should try it. If only I enjoyed the taste of protein rich foods more than the taste of starchy foods…

    Karen, I understand completely!

  13. angiem Says:

    Susan, I used to do that too. I remember once when I watched a horror movie and I was awake half the night imagining I was hearing the evil character say my name. I finally had enough of it, and went and got in bed with my parents. I was 18! I know, EMBARRASSING!!!

    Ruth, I often wonder too.

    Carmenica, neither do I! And I can’t understand people that do!

    Ligia, I have no idea why we are so. I guess it proves just how much power our thoughts have. I read an interesting book by Diana Ackerman titled An Alchemy of Mind, or something like that… anyway, it explains how when we view something, our mind does not differentiate between reality and fiction.

    Nelly, do you ever use the babau trick with your boys?

  14. Pamela Says:

    I simply don’t do vampires. They scare me. I love a good ghost story, but cannot abide the gore that most “horror” movies seem to have. I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to scary entertainment. Wilkie Collins, Edith Wharton, Poe…that sort of thing. But, not Dracula!

  15. angiem Says:

    Pamela, I love your idea of scary entertainment! I do that sometimes too and then have to sleep with the light on, the book somewhere on the floor so I don’t have to see it.

  16. Laura [What I Like] Says:

    I am so with you on this…I absolutely cannot stand scary movies. Scary parts of life I am fine with, but movies? Not a chance.

  17. audrey Says:

    wow! this is incredible what you have written. i’m on my way out now but i plan to come back and read every single comment about what people have written.

    what you have shared about horror films is … scarey… well i call them horror films. i get spooked too when watching them.

    i like the mysterious stuff like the tales they told you as a girl. i would have been spooked too, but delighted. i like stuff like that… i like watching the ghost whisperer for example…

    and as you are there when people pass on… lady that is huge! i don’t even know what to say. what a gift you have to be able to be there present and love them on as they pass.

    God bless you, you have an incredible gift!

    have a great (spooky?) weekend…

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