Journey’s End

Author: angiem, 12 29th, 2009

For me the year 2009 has been one of the saddest years yet.  People I have loved have died- and I am not talking about Michael Jackson and the handful of celebrities that happened to share the earth at the same time as I.  I am talking about men, women and children I have met, I have hugged, I have cried with, and I have laughed with.  Relatives and friends that have made an impact on my life more profound than a song or book or discovery.  Real people that struggled with stomach cancer, pancreatic cancer, breast cancer, liver cancer, brain tumors.  People that have struggled with real fears not imaginary, who have been loving to the very end, who have placed their families and loved friends above their imminent death, who have been unselfish, who have refused to live with a “poor little me, let’s everyone be sad for me” mentality.

I shall forever miss them all.  Daughters barely out of high school, newly wed husbands, mothers, fathers, grandparents. Their laughter, the spark in their eyes, their sense of humor, the profound, unshakeable faith in the love of their God.  And I pray that peace descend upon their families.  Peace for the parents, peace for the siblings, peace for the offspring.  May 2010 bring them joy.  Deep and pure and real.


30 Responses to “Journey’s End”

  1. Renee Khan Says:

    2009 we call it the year of Satan.

    Darling Angie you are very wise, you know and you see.

    Love Renee xoxo

  2. Jena Says:

    Angie I remember when your young friend died. She was just 19, wasn’t she poor thing. I pray for her parents and siblings to this day. You my friend, have a beautiful heart and soul. I pray that God keep you and your babies and your mom in his care.

  3. Izabel Says:

    Beautiful! No more comments. God bless you and your family and everyone else!

  4. Susan R. Mills Says:

    I agree with Jena. You have a beautiful heart and soul. I’m so thankful I came across your blog, Angie. It’s inspiring. Thanks for the Christmas card, by the way. I have to say that it came on a day I wasn’t very happy, and it made me smile.

  5. Couture Cookie Says:

    There is nothing more painful than to lose someone you love. A friend of mine died from cancer this year and she was not even 30 yet!

    Your writing is so beautiful - you are capturing exactly how I feel about this.

    Much love! /M

  6. Phoenix Says:

    Angie - I am so sorry for all the loss that has occurred this year in your life…it feels like quite a few of my friends and family have lost people they loved and cared about.

    Your short essay “Embedded in Time” is a perfect way to honor those strong and beautiful men, women, and children. Your writing memorializes them and turns their lives into bright sparks of light that will never fade out.

    Bless you and yours this season. May your heart sing again one day, may the grief pass like the tide.

  7. Pamela Says:

    My husband lost his two best friends in their forties. Way too young. We have thought a lot about death. No matter how strong we feel our faith to be, we all have to acknowledge the mystery. I hope when I encounter it face to face I shall see it as the adventure it is - the continuing on, the grand holiday. The world doesn’t seem to embrace that thinking, but I do hope it is present for me at the end. One of our sweet neighbors passed away at 91 the week before Christmas. My husband sang at his funeral, a sweet occasion for a sweet man whose beautiful flower garden was the joy of our neighborhood. I thought as I sat there listening….in the midst of life, we are in death.

    Wishing you a lovely 2010… and you are so right, 2009 was indeed…. as the Queen once famously said…. an annus horibilis!

  8. Diane Says:

    All very true. The devil wants us to lose our dignity. Aside from the tremendous pain my mom felt, I know it was sad for her to be so dependent on us for everything at the end. Sorry for your sad year. Blessings and hugs for the coming year!

  9. laura Says:

    Oh, such a beautiful tribute. It is true, loving people up into those distant years teaches me so much about grace.

    I pray your loved ones who have suffered these losses find delight in the coming year.

  10. angiem Says:

    Oh Renee. I am so very sorry for your pain. I wish there was a way, I could take it all away.

  11. angiem Says:

    Jena, Izabel and Susan - Thank you. Your beautiful wishes mean so much to me.

    Couture Cookie - I am so very sorry for your loss. Death is always painful, I find, but when it strikes so young, you want to scream at the unfairness of it.

    Thank you Phoenix. You always know what to say.

  12. angiem Says:

    Pamela, I am so sorry for your husband’s loss of his best friends. What a tragedy!
    “In the midst of life, we are in death.” True words indeed!

    Thank you Diane. And so very sorry for the pain you went through in losing your mother. I know it is still fairly recent and deeply felt. I pray that you will have peace.

    Laura - Thank you. I pray so too.

  13. Karen@SurvivingMotherhood Says:

    It seems so many people have died recently. And my heart aches for the survivors, for those who must live with the sorrow.
    But I am constantly reminded that we have the HOPE of eternity because of Jesus. What a blessing - in the midst of sadness.
    Thanks for sharing your heart. YOU are a blessing.

  14. Michelle Miller/the true book addict Says:

    As usual, a warm and true post from you. It is so wonderful to know you. I hope you have a properous and wonderful new year yourself :)

  15. Susu Paris Chic Says:

    Dear Angie,

    Your words really touched me. They always do, but this post is especially strong and real, and beautiful.

    You have a lot of the same way of living this life as I do. You care, you give and you are happy and bubbly. Yet you ponder about things beyond visible. You don’t forget that this life of ours is only for a season. And then… what?

    I have chosen to trust in Jesus. But that doesn’t mean that death would not scare me. Nor that I would feel comfortable around it. But God is so powerful that I dare to admit - that I love him and I trust in him, and yet I’m a human and scared. And thus I’m praying for his strength, every day, and I pray for friends like you. Especially as I go on my beloved daily walks. That’s when I talk to God.

    Be encouraged and keep on writing this wonderful blog. You are working for the Kingdom in this wonderful way! A big Paris hug to you Angie!

  16. Beth Says:

    This post struck chord with me – we are presently searching for a nursing home for our 83 year old mother who is so very fearful & confused but still capable of so much love.

  17. deb @ talk at the table Says:

    I can’t imagine what this year must have been like , for you, and for all those who lost their cherished loved ones.
    That you write with grace and hope says much about you.
    As does the comments.
    I want to believe that my hopes for the future for all of us, will make it so, but of course life comes in it’s own way. So I hope to receive it with peace and gratitude.

  18. willow Says:

    A poignant, yet beautiful post.

    I love your blog. Where have you been hiding in the bloggyhood? Thanks for stopping by the manor. Hope to see you again soon.

  19. Renee Khan Says:

    I knew that Bernice had died already when I read this post yesterday and maybe that is just another reason why I love it so much.


  20. French Fancy Says:

    Oh Angie, so much of your writing moves me to tears. Whoever would have thought that words on a page could move the heart so much, but you really do have the ability to touch people with the way you express yourself.

    I’m so glad that I found your blog and I want to wish you a better 12 months ahead than the 12 that have been and almost gone.


  21. Deb Says:

    Beautiful tribute. I hope 2010 shines much happiness and light upon you.

  22. Elizabeth Says:

    Dear Angie
    this is beautifully written
    yes, we all fear disappearing, I think,
    and sometimes fear can cripple us.
    This means we must live with JOY whenever we can
    and try to help and support one another.
    All best wishes for the new year.

  23. Vanessa Says:

    So beautifully written! Taking one’s heartfelt emotions and transforming them into words is nothing short of an artform, an artform you’ve shown us time and again that you have mastered.
    Wishing you a blessed New Year and looking forward to another year of your wonderfully shared life.

  24. angiem Says:

    Karen, thank you. Wow! I thought you were taking it easy until the 4th of Jan. Glad you dropped by!!

    Michelle, thanks. It has been so nice to connect with you. Wishing that 2010 proves itself wonderful to you.

    Susu, your words are so sweet and wonderful. I am particularly happy that we’ve become friends.

    Beth, I truly wish you find a happy place for your mom. Happy places are receptive to love, and reciprocators of it.

    Thank you Deb. I pray for peace and joy. Not as much for me, as for the lovely people whose lives have been touched by the loss of their loved ones.

    Willow, thanks for dropping by and for the sweet compliment. You have a fascinating blog that I intend to visit over and over.

    Oh dear Renee… I just hope it doesn’t make you sadder. Thinking of you, every waking hour.

    Julie (French Fancy), I am extremely pleased that we’ve become friends. I am humbled by your kind words, I really am. And thank you for the wishes!

    Thank you, Deb. I pray that 2010 shines in its most awesome glory upon you as well.

    Elizabeth, thank you! Best wishes for a wonderful 2010 to you and yours. The fear of disappearing is paralyzing in its intensity.

    Vanessa, thanks! Your compliments placed a smile on my lips. Particularly since I do not consider myself an artist in the least. So glad you keep coming back for visits. Looking forward to 2010 where I hope I get to know you better as well. Blessings!

  25. Wendy Says:

    As I sit here hoping to hear from my husband in Afghanistan (4 of our Canadian soldiers died today and a number more were injured), I didn’t expect a post on death to leave me feeling so calmed. Thank you–your post was a gift!

  26. Bunny Says:

    Angie, Your post brought tears to my eyes and made so grateful for the healthy people in my life. I also believe so much in what Susu wrote in her comment above. I am a 15 year cancer survivor and I believe that is why I live my life so fully and happily…I just pray my children will always be safe and happy.
    God Bless and have a wonderful New Year.

  27. Bridgette Says:

    Such beautiful writing. My resolve for the coming year is this- Live Fully.
    Best to you and yours in the year ahead:)

  28. Holly L Says:

    So sorry for the losses you have faced this year. Your ability to put your feeling and thoughts into words is so powerful. The sentiment expressed is soul-filling and touching. Thank you.

  29. Autumn Says:

    This is beautiful!!! I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I am sure that she is in a better place. Life is a precious gift and I am going to try and make the most of all that I have been given. I am sure that you will too!!! :)

  30. krista Says:

    sad. beautiful. thought provoking.
    all of the above.
    and more.

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