no tale today. just thoughts

Author: angiem, 11 13th, 2010

I made salmon for dinner last night.  Boring. I know.  I served it with rice and steamed vegetables and an extra side dish of my bad mood.  I thought about the things I could give up - I have been thinking about this more and more lately, probably because I have been working too hard and too many hours.  But finding dependable employees is so very difficult.  I have yet to find one with the work ethic and the initiative to take charge, to match mine.  Instead I find myself repeating over and over what needs to be done. Besides other things.

My husband says to stop stressing and just take it as it is. The perfect employee does not exist.  But I had an almost perfect employee once.  So, I truly hope he’s wrong.  We shall see. Meanwhile, it’s another day of interviewing and going down my checklist.  Because no matter how much I want to give it all up, I have kids. And I must provide for their future.  And I must raise them in such a way that they aren’t coddled and don’t feel entitled, and learn just how important responsibility and hard work are.

My son came home from school this week wanting to know why we don’t pay him for completing his chores around the house. Other parents do that, we were told.  Why didn’t we? I snapped something to the effect of: I wash the dishes, I cook, I do the laundry, and nobody stands there handing me money. Then I took a big breath and calmed myself down. I explained that in a family everyone has a role. His role is to clean his room, take out the trash, and vacuum the house once a week. It is his responsibility to us, his family.

His job, for which I pay him based on his performance, is school. That is his responsibility to himself. To his future.  School teaches him about life, and its day to day requirements of providing an income and maintaining a lifestyle.  By getting up on time, completing his homework, doing his best, attending daily, not giving excuses, he develops the work ethic he needs to prosper on this planet. Because we don’t live on Mars, and daydreams are only reality when we make them happen.

Adieu. For now.

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30 Responses to “no tale today. just thoughts”

  1. Jena Says:

    Oh Angie!!! I hear you. I feel the same way about the unemployment rate. There are too few outstanding employees and those get the jobs! The others that bitch and complain and do everything half way don’t last long. And why should they when there are good ones out there.
    I also agree with you about not paying children for chores. I’m of the mind that it is those kids who were paid to clean their rooms and put away their toys that feel the most entitled as adults and that are the laziest employees.
    You are doing an outstanding job as a mother Angie! Keep it up sweetie!

  2. Victoria Says:

    Absolutely agree. Way too many people today just feel they are entitled to a wonderful life without working for it. Children need to learn from responsible hardworking adults that they should never expect to be given handouts or feel they can just take take take from others. Work is good for the mind, the body and the soul. Hugs

  3. Ava Says:

    Here, here! Or is it hear, hear?

    Anywho, I get you, lady!!! We are a country of entitled young adults. I’m saying that because I too, can’t help but give on to this feeling. I hate it! I can imagine how frustrating it is. Hope you find that employee, dear.

  4. Monica Says:

    I saw your link to this on Facebook and just had to comment. I’m a teacher and I see this sense of entitlement every day in the classroom. I want to shake the parents and tell them that they are causing harm to their child’s future by treating him or her as royalty and a genius. I am not surprised that we are raising a generation of spoiled, lazy kids who never fulfill their potential. Hard work and diligence are underrated in our society. Instead our children our raised on daydreams of becoming celebrities and winning the lottery.
    I am glad you wrote this. Parents need to wake up. As you said, the future is each child’s responsibility. Our children need to know that, and must work toward the future they want.

  5. Diane Says:

    Amen Sista!

    Love what you told your son and hoping you find some employees that aren’t “perfect” but will at least do the minimum with a good attitude. Is that what we’ve come to today?….. maybe….

    Hope you feel better and things at work ease up for you. :O)

  6. Lena Says:

    I can’t comment on raising kids, Angie… But I can on educating because I have students… They truly think they deserve success just because they were born… *sigh*

    I hope you find a good employee soon… They are very hard to come by…

    *hugs*

  7. Mary Moon Says:

    And even if kids don’t act like they get it- they are at least developing the habits which will help them when they do.
    Stick to your guns at home and at work.

  8. Susan Says:

    Um, I feel quite the same but I’m confused about the high unemployment rate statement. I know plenty of people who are excellent employees who are out of work & cannot find a job sweeping up at the moment. So. I’ll come back & reread.

    About kids…I see it every day. It drives me crazy. You are right: his job is school & some chores around the house.

    ciao, Angie

  9. pamela Says:

    Your children are fortunate to have you.
    And, salmon is never boring!!

  10. Corinne Says:

    Hang in there, the employee of your dreams is out there :)
    (and completely agree about kids and work ethic and school and responsibility and roles we play in the family… amen!)

  11. deb @ talk at the table Says:

    Angie… I hope things lighten up for you all around and soon.
    Kids seem to know just how to push our buttons , don’t they?
    And I’ll keep my fingers crossed you get a break from all of this stress at work.
    Sounds like you need a little vacation perhaps. Funny how life goes in cycles of crazy busy and uphill sometimes.

    love to you,
    keep the faith.

  12. Susan Deborah Says:

    Dear Angie:

    Love your thoughts today. Many times we find ourselves at the crossroads wanting to do something but find that the circumstances don’t favour us. Talking of work ethics and responsibility, your rants are so very true. It is quite impossible to find someone who is devoted and hard-working. This can be observed in every field. People are just no longer bothered about the quality of work. They JUST do it! This is quite sad :(

    As for your son’s predicament, I don’t know what to say. It never happens in India.

    I wish you a great employee and a lovely week ahead.

    Joy always,
    Susan

  13. Ruth Says:

    Oh Angie, I admire that you are so open. And I think everyone had a bad day yesterday (if only I could write about a tough days as beautifully as you do)! It sounds like you need to know that you are a great mommy! I hope that I can be one, too, one day. Don’t give up and stay focused. You know what needs to be done, and you will do it right. I hope you find the perfect employee soon, and that your soon will appreciate all the lessons you are teaching him. Sending you good and loving thoughts your way for a better day today. xoxo

  14. Ruth Says:

    wow, my message sounds like a hallmark card. Anyway, all the very BEST, R.

  15. SJ Says:

    Very good to hear your thoughts!!

    Try to relax…wine may help :)

  16. Francesca Says:

    A while back I wrote a post about paying kids pocket money for chores, and the response I got was based on geography: European readers were against, US for. I agree with everything you wrote here, and on the importance of teaching kids the value and meaning of “responsibility”.

  17. La Belette Rouge Says:

    I hope you find many perfect employees and that their presence in your life makes your life easier.xo

  18. Stephanie Says:

    I hear you Angie, I really do. I hope someone turns up who has the required ethic and drive to get and keep the job. And good for you for doing your best with the kids. It will all be worth it in the end!

  19. Susan Tiner Says:

    Angie, I admire you for teaching your children the value of hard work. It should always start with the family, but rarely does.

  20. debbie Says:

    When mine were younger, they received their allowances. However, if they didn’t do their jobs, they “paid” me to do them and I kept a portion of their allowance. It only took a few weeks of them “hiring” me to do their work for them to do it themselves:)

  21. Kary Gonyer Says:

    i hear you ….

    life. aahhhhhhh

    happy to visit here today
    sending love,
    kary
    xxx

  22. rick Says:

    Angie
    I enjoy a good rant now and then. could almost hear you huff with arms on hips.
    ~rick

  23. Elisa_Croatia Says:

    Salmon is never boring, no.no. I hear you. I went through a similar stage (work related) you will find an honest and hardworking employee.

    Ps. I read this article and though of you. though I would share.

    http://www.expatyourself.com/2010/11/18-excellent-tips-from-expert-expats/

  24. Anya Says:

    Angie, take a deep breath. I know exactly how you feel! I have also went through the hell of hiring a perfect help, but despite all my efforts decided that I am better of working by myself + my very capable assitant who handles mail and shipping. My advice - there is no point to get so upset. Try to do something extrordinary to cheer yourself up. Take a bath wearing high stiletto heels. :-) Yesterday, for example, I made dinner while wearing PJ’s and an extrordinarily ugly oversized hat from 100 years ago stuffed with feathers and eye-ripping ribbons. It reflected how I felt at the time, but I think I looked so stupid that we ended up laughing all night long, taking pictures and having fantastic time while my dog tryed to attack the hat. :-)))

  25. Cindy L Says:

    Aw, I am sorry you are having a rough week. All of the things you mentioned are valid complaints or worries. When you own a business, you have a vision, and when you employ people, you have a right to have expectations.

    As my husband likes to tell me when I have a bad week, “Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.” Hope it gets better, Angie!

  26. sharon -My French Country Home Says:

    Love your work ethic with your kids Angie, same thing works here. If they don’t get the right grounding at home, they’ll find it nowhere.
    BTW Everyone has days where we serve up a bad mood with supper! Don’t feel guilty.
    Sharon
    xx

  27. Anya Says:

    Angie, I stopped by to wish you a wonderful November weekend. I hope you are feeling much better now. Sending you millions of hugs from New York! :-)

  28. Christie Says:

    Oh Angie, I sure hope that you have able to find a valuable employee - they are so hard to come by. I’ve trained 4 new book-keepers in the last year. It’s been very trying and the good ones have left for better pay. It’s very frustrating. I feel your pain.
    As for your conversation with your son - perfect! I admire the way you make school so important. Bravo!

  29. Ötli Says:

    Family… Öö… Nothing easy, lot of questions, things to be done… I send you a big French hug ;)

  30. deb @ talk at the table Says:

    Thinking of you this Thanksgiving week Angie, it’s not our holiday here, but I do hope you are less stressed and looking forward to family time.

    My daughter who goes to school at UMASS will get her first break to come home , so we have something extra to be thankful for as well.

    love to you,

    deb

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