personal sacrifices

Author: angiem, 03 15th, 2010

In an effort to lose ten pounds, and teach myself some discipline along the way, I have decided to go on a refined sugar and flour fast. Easier said than done, as I am the biggest sugar and flour addict I know. But summer is coming so putting it off is not an option any longer. And I have found it to be true that weight loss is 85% diet related. I will start tomorrow. I know it sounds like I’m putting it off, but I have a reason why. Today needs to be spent poring over my half dozen cookbooks (because I am not a genius in the kitchen I rely on cookbooks, and I really like those with pictures so I know that a semblance of the food pictured is expected), and planning every meal and snack. If I don’t have everything planned and within reach, I will panic and give in to the nearest brownie.

I have done this before and know that it will be difficult. The last time I did it, I felt such compassion for addicts of one substance or another and so much respect for the ones that kicked the habit and persevered. It isn’t easy. Sugar and flour withdrawals are nothing to sniff at.

Tomorrow evening I will be cursing all those female standards of beauty that we women fall for, while at the same time telling myself not to give in to my sugar deprived brain telling me that I’m fine the way I am. To help myself along, I should probably make fifty or so copies of one of my favorite pre-children photos and tape them throughout the kitchen, pantry and car. Maybe line my purse with a bunch of them as well.

As I am writing this, I am enjoying what will probably my last sugar laden sweet – an almond croissant dusted with powdered sugar from my favorite bakery – for the next two weeks. I am eating it as slowly as I can in order to prolong the pleasure. Should I spoil myself with such treats all day, as tomorrow will inevitably arrive with its new burden? Hmm… what a dilemma!

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sick of sick days

Author: angiem, 10 18th, 2009

We’ve been quarantined in the house since about Thursday, each of us in various stages of this head cold/flu thing.  It’s a good thing the house is large and there are plenty of rooms to run through and hide in for the kids.  Hubby, who’s finally gotten better has been on endless missions to get cupcakes and milk, chocolates and fresh fruit.

With the exception of going to a reading given by Nicholas Kristof on Friday evening, I’ve stayed in.  That was an amazing experience, yet sadly I was too drugged up on Sudafed to carry an intelligent conversation with anyone, or remember much of what was said by others.  His book, Half the Sky, that he has co-authored with his wife, is an astounding read into the plight of women worldwide.  You can read about it on my friend’s blog:#mce_temp_url#.  Ligia, herself, is dedicated in bringing awareness and empowerment not just to the women of her native Costa Rica, but also to all she comes in contact with on her many travels and speeches in South America, North America, and Europe.

But back to me.  The only thing I’ve accomplished other than lounging around and moving from the bed to the family room couch, book in hand, was eating exorbitant amounts of sugary foods.  For the moment at least, I like to pretend the scale does not exist.  I try to avoid the bathroom it resides in for fear of it gravitationally pulling me toward it, and then having no other choice, climbing on it and watching the dreaded digital numbers go higher than they’ve been in a very long while.

After everyone’s asleep, I plan to go and clean out the fridge and the pantry.  No more overindulgent wallowing.  Tomorrow is back to eating right, exercising, and homeschooling… even if we don’t leave the house for more than a short walk in the woods.

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